Loneliness in business is not uncommon, let's talk about it
You're holding so many different responsibilities, having to make decisions constantly which often impact others, possibly navigating doubt quietly because... who do you share it with?
You chose to set up a business, to set up as a leader, you should be able to do this, right?!
Last week, I heard plenty of signs of loneliness from clients, friends and the business network:
“I feel like I’m carrying it all by myself, it's a lot!”
“I don’t want to burden anyone.”
“Everyone looks like they have it sorted, but I’m struggling, am I the only one?”
Yep, I hear you. And no, you're not the only one.
This is the quiet reality of leading. It can be isolating, even when we love what we do. Even when we’re good at what we do. And especially when we feel we’re supposed to be the strong one, the one with the answers, the one who can “handle it.”👋🏻
But leadership was never meant to be a solo sport. Neither was running a business.
We need spaces where we can take the mask off. Be honest. Be seen for who we are, not just what we do, not just a title or role.
So what can support actually look like?
Here's some things I recommend you look to build around you:
Find a peer community (not just a networking group, but a true space of connection. This can look different to everyone, a running group, a book club, what does connection look like for you?
Have a coach, mentor, or trusted guide to speak freely with
Join mastermind groups or circles where vulnerability is welcome, not judged
Create intentional time to be with others who understand what being a business owner feels like.
Build in reflection time for yourself to process your emotions rather than sticking your head in the sand like an ostrich. If you're honest with yourself, what do you need to work best? I have been searching out co-working and collaboration recently because I know it helps bring out the best in me. What about you?
Be honest and saying “I’m feeling a bit alone right now” (in an authentic way, with people you trust - it is incredible how people want to support eachother).
Because here's the thing: when we name it and when we reach out, it all becomes easier.
So if you’ve been shouldering it all quietly, this is your gentle nudge.
You're not meant to do it all alone.
You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.
There is support out there—and you’re worthy of it.
What's more I promise, you're not the only one feeling this way.
Common Humanity & Self Compassion
That moment of loneliness, of “why am I the only one finding this hard?”- it’s actually something so many of us experience. And recognising you're not alone in this feeling can be healing in itself.
This is what psychologist Kristin Neff calls Common Humanity and is of the foundations of Self-Compassion. Common Humanity is the reminder that “it’s not just me”, it's the opposite of Isolation.
Because when we feel alone, our inner critic loves to creep in with:
“Why can’t I handle this?”
“Everyone else seems to be doing fine.”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
But self-compassion offers a different voice:
“This is hard—and I’m not alone in it.”
“It’s okay to struggle.”
“Others feel this too. I can give myself kindness instead of criticism.”
If this resonates, a great tool I often recommend is Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Break. It only take a minute and helps you connect with the three components of Self Compassion; Mindfulness (instead of Over-Identification), Common Humanity (instead of Isolation) and Self-Kindness (instead of Self-judgement):
Mindfulness: Acknowledge the pain or stress. “This is a moment of struggle.”
Common Humanity: “Struggle is a part of being human. I’m not alone in this.”
Self-Kindness: Offer yourself kindness. “How can I be kind to myself right now?”
You can even place a hand on your heart or speak the words out loud if it helps.
I want to focus on leadership that’s human and sustainable. That means being honest, connected, and compassionate.
And that means working together, not alone.
Do you agree? What can you do to build your community and combat those feelings of loneliness?
I have something to help with this.... my new group coaching cohort starting in September
I am building a cohort for group coaching for micro business owners / leaders in Sheffield. The group will be no bigger than 6 people. The cost to join this is £720 to sign up for an initial 6 months (£120/month).
It includes 90minute group coaching in person, online co-working, Whatsapp accountability, member portal with coaching resources.
You can find out more and register interest here.
